Loralee, and the terrible horrible no good very bad weekend!

Note: This is going to be long and tedious so you may not want to bother. It is definitely more for me than you!

Troy left for a man ski trip around 12:00 pm on Friday. He wasn't planning to leave until 2:00 pm, so I asked him if he could pick up Gavin at Kindergarten and drop him off at home. He told me he could drop him off somewhere on the way to Tahoe. I could tell it was going to be a terrible horrible no good very bad weekend.

I called my dad, who had casually volunteered to take Gavin and Colby to a movie this weekend, to ask which day would work better for him. He said, "Tonight". So I called my sister in law, Traci, and told her we would go to Jacob's play on Saturday night. Then my dad called and decided that Saturday night would be better. I thought it might be a terrible horrible no good very bad weekend. I called Traci back and asked if tickets were sold out for tonight? She said, "We'll make it happen!". I was skeptical.

We got to the play, Fiddler on the Roof, very cute. It started at 7:30 pm. I should have known better than take 3 tired kids ages 6, 4, and 17 months to a play on Friday night. Within the first minute of getting in line Gavin and Colby were making a scene running in and out of people pretending to throw up on each other. I thought the tickets were at will call and they weren't. I couldn't find Traci and was about to go home when a friendly usher took pity on me. I should have taken my exit cue.

We got to our seats in the balcony and I finally put a screaming Mazzy down. She had wanted me to put her down since we arrived. I turned around for a second to threaten Gavin and Colby who were fighting with their cousins. A few seconds later I hear a weird thumping, a man screaming the Lords name in vain, and a surreal visual of Mazzy rolling down the stairs. I knew it was going to be a terrible horrible no good very bad weekend.

After a full infant body analysis, comforting a livid, screaming baby and convincing some of our theater neighbors that I had some small speck of control over the situation the play started. It was a great play except for the unscheduled intermissions of , "Mommy, I'm thirsty, I want a drink.", "Mommy, I need to go potty." "Mommy when is it going to be over?". Note to self: Next time come without children!

After the play, Gavin ran out one exit with his cousins. Colby took the other exit. I had to decide on an action and sacrifice one child momentarily. I knew Gavin would be a little more cooperative so I ran after him first. Together we took off after Colby. When we found him, I grabbed his hand and exited the theater ASAP. The rest of the evening was normal at least. Maybe tomorrow would be better.

Saturday am everyone woke up at 7 am like clockwork. I thought for sure after going to bed at 10:00 pm the kids would sleep in till 8. I get dumber with age. I came up with some fun exciting plans that kept becoming impossible due to bad behavior. For example, Gavin has bloody Wolverine claw marks down his torso from one of Colby's effective communication methods. After a lot of yelling, time outs and empty threats on my part we get ready for the park.

As we are preparing to leave for the park, our new Pacific Islander neighbor that moved in down stairs 2 weeks ago knocks on the door. "Is everything alright up here?" he asks. "My sister and I hear a lot of fighting, jumping, screaming, and crying going on all of the time." I don't really know how to respond as I am standing in the door with Gavin, Colby and Mazzy. I was right yesterday, it is a terrible horrible no good very bad weekend.

The park seemed like a good idea except we didn't plan for summertime heat in March. The kids were burnt and overheated in 20 minutes. There was no shade and my poor pregnant sister in law, Jenny was wearing thick control panty hose under her full length jeans to prevent blood clots from forming. We ate a healthy lunch at McDonalds and instead of going home to my noisy disturbing apartment (us being noisy and disturbing), we went to my mom's house in hopes that Mazzy would sleep there.

Luck was on our side and she slept. The boys got along for a while and my mood was improving. After Mazzy woke up, we played in the grass with the sprinkler (hose). It seemed like a good idea till I realized Mazzy was allergic to grass and she broke out in a rash all over her body. Hmmm

Now my boys are at the movie, Monsters vs. Aliens with my parents. Maybe not such a terrible horrible no good very bad weekend. It could be a lot worse, but Troy won't come back till tomorrow night so I am way ahead of myself.

BTW, I went to the Doughtery Valley High School Performing Arts Center last week with Gavin's Kindergarten class to see, "Alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day." Inspirational.